Saturday 31 October 2015

Dare Something Worthy

Recently our family was informed that we have been accepted to a 9 month volunteer placement with Cuso International partnering with NEWLO in Grenada. While this might seem like the start of our journey it is really the middle.

Map of the Carribean
For me it started when I was very young. My mother was (and still is) socially active and therefore so was I.  When I wasn't making signs to free South Africa I was marching in Take Back the Night. I was raised to believe you could make big changes and affect the lives of others around the world.

When it came to university studies a logical choice for me was to apply to the International Development program at the University of Guelph as my first choice. I was so excited about the opportunities that the degree would offer me and was sure I would get in. I had participated in every kind of social/political activity and I had been even been awarded a National Citizenship Award at 16. I was the real deal, how could they not want me? So when I got a thin envelop from Guelph saying that I had not been accepted I was devastated. Back then when someone said no I thought that was the end of the discussion, so I closed that door.

For our family this journey started February of 2012 when the entire family went to Costa Rica and stayed in a local village rather than at a resort. It made us realize that there are incredible learning opportunities to be found in immersing yourself in a culture. And a window opened.

We began to plan financially to take a leave of absence, we called it "The three year plan". The plan had to be three years out because we needed to take our boys out of school in a non-critical year of their education, and yet ensure they would not be so young that they did not remember the experience.

Those who have taken courses with me at CFB Trenton would know that my screen saver in the classroom scrolled across during breaks reading "Three Year Plan". I did this intentionally because I wanted people to hold me accountable to my big idea. It was important for it to be a real plan not just a wouldn't it be nice plan. At the start of this year I stopped surrounding myself in my office with policy documents and business plans and created a cork board filled with images of the types of places we wanted to be. And in the middle of all those images the Latin phrase "Aude aliquid dignum" Dare Something Worthy.

We have dared something worthy; to contribute more fully, to engage more broadly and to be global not just local citizens. We are taking this adventure and we hope you will come with us. We will be blogging and our boys (aged 10 & 12) will as well. Hopefully it serves to inspire you to do something worthy of who you have the capacity to be. If you are already on that path or are thinking about volunteering with Cuso or VSO hopefully it helps provides you with insight into a volunteer placement and into following your dreams.

Cuso takes a pay it forward approach, where volunteers who are going overseas assist in raising funds to help send the next group of volunteers. As a registered charity the Canadian government has partnered with Cuso and donates $9.00 for every $1.00 donated, which means when you donate to Cuso every dollar donated becomes $10.00 If you would like to help us send volunteers to help alleviate poverty please follow this link. 

Thursday 29 October 2015

Skills for Working in Development


From May 9-13 Brent and I participated in the Cuso Training program Skills for Working in Development (SKWID) course in Ottawa Ontario. As an introvert it has taken me a bit of time to process the experience. But I wanted to share my thoughts for future volunteers.
This reminded me of our roadmap to learning in SKWID
First it was absolutely an experience rather than a “course”. For many our only experience with a course is reading and lectures- if we are lucky maybe a little bit of group work thrown in. However SKWID is all about interacting with the knowledge you already have and reframing that knowledge to assist you in applying it to working overseas.  The facilitators do a great job of guiding the discussion and adding their own experiences to bring some of our hidden values and beliefs to light. I think this is a critical part of the learning process, we all have things we didn't realize how passionate we were about... until we are confronted with them. Knowing what those hot button issues are, can help you to understand where you might have difficulties when your values bump up against your placement countries values.

Next, it is tiring! You are not only managing your own learning but meeting new people and navigating those relationships. For me, many of the concepts presented were not new but that didn’t mean it wasn’t work to consolidate that knowledge. For my husband, many of the concepts were new (now he wishes he had taken some of my courses!) and for him being confronted with new ideas daily was also tiring.

Most importantly as tired as you are, try to have dinner with your colleagues at least once. As I noted, I am introverted, so all day with 20 people and then having dinner with people seemed a bit overwhelming. However it helped to build relationships and trust. Some of the people on my course I hope to have visit my home over the coming years, unfortunately we are all going to different countries but I want to keep up with their journeys, because they are all remarkable people.

In this particular session we had a group of young women from Veterinarians Without Borders. I was so impressed to see these remarkable young ladies getting ready to set out to places I know I would not go because of my fear of not speaking the language, how different it would be to Canada and the living conditions. The projects they were setting out on were interesting and important and you could see that they would advance the lives of women and improve the economies of local communities. I will be thinking about Anika, Mary Clare, Sarah, Julie, Michelle, Nancy, Jamie and Liz (some of whom are already in country) and their work this summer.

Wednesday 28 October 2015

100 Days- But who's counting?


Today is 100 days until we land in Grenada. There is some breathing room to this realization, after all that is three whole months. However there is also a sense of fear about how much needs to be done! I have spreadsheets and lists yet it feels like I must be forgetting something!

Probably the most challenging aspect is planning our immunizations. Owen is definitely fearful about getting poked, and since we need to have immunizations for Hepatitis A & B, Thyphoid and rabies this equates to seven trips to the nurses at The Brighton Family Health Team. So far the plan is to do one type per month, so that there are breaks in between visits.  Really the hard part is just starting, once Owen sees that it hurts for a moment and then you’re done, we should find visits are progressively easier.

Next is renting our house. Renting to the wrong tenants could mean coming home to thousands of dollars of damage, plus with a pool we have even more concerns about having responsible tenants. Thankfully our friends at Butler Mortgage are helping with screening applicants for us. As well getting our favourite real estate agent Lorraine O’Quinn involved in the search is giving us some more peace of mind.

Once we get those two items taken care of I’ll feel a lot less stressed. For now all I can do is keep checking items off our list and remind myself that in 100 days I will be stepping out of a plane into Grenada and into a whole new culture. I can’t wait! 

Tuesday 27 October 2015

Thinking about loss and grieving in Grenada



Friendly faces back at the Hammond farm May 30 2014
Today was a beautiful day at the farm. The sky was the perfect shade of blue, the grass was green and freshly cut. Yet, I was inside listening to my mom standing at a pulpit welcoming family and friends to the celebration of life of her first cousin Mel Hammond. My cousin Debbie (Mel’s daughter) noted how wonderful it was to have so many farmers in attendance when surely there was ploughing to be done, but then there is a time for everything. Today was a time to remember and think of what I might lose.

When you sign up to volunteer internationally you realize that you won’t be able to attend the funeral of a cousin, high school friend or former co-worker. But today made me think about what you miss when you can’t do that.
Grieving can be public or private and no matter where you are in the world you can grieve for a lost loved one. But today I got to sit on the grass beside my beautiful cousin Meghan. I had babysat her when she was a wee girl and bought her the clothes she wore to her grandmother's funeral almost 20 year earlier. She was looking past her four year old daughter Brooklyn at her grandfather’s casket and she was quietly crying while her husband held her and Brooklyn played barefoot with her three year old cousin Margret. I gave her a hug and I realized how important cousins were and how important being there for others is.

When I am in Grenada I won’t be able to physically be there for my cousins, twin sister, mom or co-workers as they go through some of the bumps life puts in the road, nor for any of the joys. When this was a concept it didn’t seem so bad. Having spent the day with my large extended family, hearing their stories about not just Mel but about our times together, I am now aware of how much I will miss.

Maybe it was better when it was just an abstract concept. But realizing I won’t see Erin’s 3 week old baby Gracie again until she is probably over a year old, and Brooklyn will be done her first year in junior kindergarten when I get back makes me realize that if I don’t want to miss out I need to make sure I reach out.

Monday 26 October 2015

Doctor, Doctor Give me the news!

This week was our family physical. Cuso requires all of those traveling out of country to undergo a medical and dental exam. This process entails filling out about 10 pages of information and then our physician fills out a document that is close to 15 pages! Multiple that by four people and you have a lot of work for both parties!

While it was a lot of work it forced me to think about our family history of illness. My father lost his battle with mental health when I was 16 and that essentially ended my contact with that side of my family. I had no idea if my aunts had health problems and apart from the obvious health problem my father had I had no idea about issue like high blood pressure and cholesterol. Both Brent and I had to remind each other that we had immediate family members who had cancer (other than Brent's father who lost his battle in 2002).

It also helped me reflect on a lesson I had learned when I was about 14. I had been in a fashion show of vintage and new wedding gowns at my church. I had a beautiful dress from the 1950's, tea length with a sweet little lazy jacket that went over top. At the time I was 110 pounds and probably a size 7. When I met the woman whose dress I was wearing she was in her fifties and easily 60 pounds over weight. I wondered how this woman had gone from being a size 7 in her twenties to at least a size 16 in her fifties?

I have come to realize that health is something that often slips away from you when you aren't paying attention. Like the owner of the gown I have put on weight since my wedding, about a pound a year. Not too bad when you go from 120 to 140 but in another 20 years that would put me at 160 and all of a sudden I am that woman! So having to reflect my family medical history reminds me of things I  need to be watchful for as I age and as the boys age.

Back to the paper work. I am extremely grateful to Dr Wigington of the Brighton Family Health Team for taking the time to do all the paperwork to help get us to Grenada. I know it took time away from other patients and probably added to his already long day. We are also grateful to the nurses who are starting on the long process of getting our immunizations completed. We'll be seeing lots of them in the coming months.




Sunday 25 October 2015

A little short


This week could be characterized by shortness.





For the past two years I have been wearing my hair (what I consider) long. There are a number of reasons this works for me but mostly it is that I am not at all fussy about hair, make-up and such things. It is never lost on me that all my Learning Assistants have put me to shame in this department. I have always considered myself a bit of a geek and ergo I can be excused for not knowing how to braid or create that pretty little pouf in my hair. That is not to say I don’t make an effort, it just usually fails.

This was the case in Toronto this past week. I had straightened my hair to present at the Canadian Forces Staff College and was feeling pretty good about how I had managed, until I was confronted with a wall of water between my hotel and my car. Even with an umbrella, trying to get a suitcase into a car in a torrential downpour will result in getting wet. So off I headed to the college, wet, but none the worse for wear. By the time I got to the College the rain had stopped but the humidity was intense. As I walked across the parking lot I could practically feel my hair curling. So there I was damp, curly and not at all the way I started out.


New short hair style!
I had been planning on cutting my hair short before I left for Grenada. Having to wash thick curly hair after swimming in the ocean was not an appealing thought. Nor was knowing I would need to blow dry and straighten it, so my long hair days were numbered. My Staff College experienced just hastened its departure. I like my new do- I’m good with almost no maintenance.

My hair was not the only thing short this week. It seemed all of us were a little short with our tempers. As we get closer to our departure date more adjustments need to be made.  The boys who are used to spending the summers between grandmothers and parents are now faced with the reality they need to go to camp. Not a happy revelation for Owen. Aiden has been frazzled as he tries to help but then gets distracted part way through… then I raise my voice to get the job finished. Finally we are all frazzled as we try to keep the house tidy for potential showings, still pack up and try to enjoy the summer.

Everyone was short of time on Saturday as Owen needed to be in Oshawa at 8:15 to meet his aunt for his birthday adventure to the aquarium in Toronto. Brent was to meet a friend at 7:15 to catch a ride to a sale they were going to in Toronto, but his power had gone out and he was almost a half hour late. Meanwhile aunt Ceilidh’s power had also gone out and she was unable to print their e-tickets and Brent’s delay meant they might not meet their ticket timings of 9:00-10:00. As I relayed messages back and forth between all parties, everyone was experiencing a short temper.

Things work out as they always do, with open communication and “sorry” goes a long way when you are frustrated. The reality is that in order to get to Grenada we are going to have short tempers some times and as we get closer to our departure date we are going to need to communicate even more than we normally do to ensure needs are met and feelings are validated. Not everyone will get what they want but in the end we should all get what we need.

Friday 23 October 2015

Good friends, good health, good times

This weekend my best friend of 20 years came for a visit before we head to Grenada. Trish and I met in my second year of university, her third year, where we shared a house with a bunch of random people (Allison, Lynne, Michelle, and Brian) who each rented a room. Our bedrooms were beside each other and even though we are quite different we became fast friends and now so many years later best friends.

The year I moved in with Trish she began experiencing some really weird health issues. At first we thought it was stress. She was in an incredibly demanding science program at a rather demanding university. Eventually she was diagnosed with a brain tumour, but even that wouldn't slow her down, she graduated Queen's and went on to U of T. In reality that would be the first in a long line of diagnoses that would last over the next 15 years.

Now we know that she had contracted Lyme disease, a horrible illness that moves through your body attacking all kinds of systems, making diagnosis incredibly difficult and leaving the patient debilitated and often feeling helpless and hopeless. There had been periods where the disease would abate and it would seem she would get better only to have it come back attacking another system. This visit is probably the most healthy I have seen her since she was 20 years old.

Health is something we often take for granted. It is one of the areas that Cuso works in and my visit with Trish and my son's weekend visit to the ER, got me thinking about what a critical building block health is to learning. As Trish was going through her health crisis I would send her journals to capture what was happening because I believed that by documenting how she felt she could learn from it and hopefully others could learn from her.

It is hard though to learn when you are not mentally or physically well. You must take care of the body in order for the mind to be open to new things. This is perhaps why doctors and nurses need to take time to educate their patients- as when we are ill we are not open to exploring possibilities instead we want concrete answers.

I have been lucky enough to be very healthy (with the exception of the birth of my son) so this weekend helped to remind me about barriers to learning that are often hidden.

It also reminded me of the value of friends who will go through all of life's ups and downs with you. And the perseverance of the human spirit that after 15 years of illness you can come out the other side even more beautiful, stronger and more determined. Or that you can have your hand cut as badly as Aiden and still be smiling and positive.

People are awesome.


Wednesday 21 October 2015

Why support development?


In the past week I have run into a couple of people who are happy for me but feel that, perhaps, the Canadian government and I should be helping Canadians not necessarily educators in another country.  You might also wonder why it is important to help other countries develop when there are people in Canada in need.

I think the government of Canada’s policy on international development sums it up well:

“Canada promotes international development and provides international assistance for many reasons, chief among them because it is the right thing to do. But beyond simply being the right thing to do, assisting people in developing countries to overcome poverty and to build prosperous, stable, and democratic countries and communities is also the smart thing to do. Canada works to bring prosperity, security and democracy to parts of the world where sustainable economic growth is a struggle, where health and security for citizens are uncertain, and where democratic governance is either weak or non-existent.

For those in need, development assistance can bring immediate relief, help reinforce existing development assistance efforts, and bring about lasting, positive change. It can give people hope that a future without poverty is possible.

Canada undertakes its development efforts out of concern and compassion for the world's less fortunate, and because reducing poverty and ending oppression is in our own best interest.”

We are also a country that is lucky to be able to develop a breadth and depth of experience in our workforce. Grenada is a country with a population of 110 000 people. They do not have the population base to develop the same skills and competencies that we are able to. By sending skilled people we help them to develop those skills.

Next the majority of Canadians have disposable income, which means we can donate to charities like children’s help phone, women’s shelters or addiction services.  In Canada we would say that your housing should not be more than 32% of your income. In Grenada the average monthly salary $360.5 US Dollars. So if you had two adults working 40 hours a week you have a household income of $720 US per month. A one bedroom apartment rents for $600/month or a whopping 83% of income. This clearly does not leave the average Grenadian much left after utilities and food to donate to their own charities. Yet they still have the same issues that we do.

I believe that having our tax dollars helping in areas like maternal & children's health, educating teachers, encouraging democracy and security in developing countries will bring all of us closer to the kind of peaceful and prosperous world we want for all people.

Focus


I’m glad the kids are visiting their Nana this week because with less than 60 days until we land in Grenada I am stressed!

Like most stress it is an amalgamation of all the little things. It is amazing how unsettling not knowing can be. Right now I don’t know: where we will live; where the boys will go to school; who will rent our house; and when we will come back.

Probably what set me off the most this week was thinking I had the boys schooling sorted out only to have it come crashing down. We had priced out a private school in Grenada at about $2,400 Canadian. Which is definitely something we can invest in. Then we had a recommendation for a school in a good neighbourhood that would also see the boys studying on the same campus and we had thought it would work well. The only problem was after a bunch of calls it turns out tuition is four times that of what we expected! With a salary of $550 Canadian a month we can’t afford $8,000 for schooling.

A friend of mine told me once that it is important when you are stressed to focus on what was working, not on what isn’t.  It was really good advice. So what is working?

·         Our doctor, nurses and dentist have been amazing and most of our medical information is ready to be sent off to Cuso’s doctors for this week.

·         My clients have been incredibly successful. All four have be asked to an interview based on the resumes I wrote for them! Two are at the reference checking stage.

·         CFL football has started and I am enjoying the World Cup when I can find a game on.

·         The weather is beautiful and Brent has been able to learn the fundamentals of kiteboarding

·         The tenants of our home in Bowmanville are supportive of our move and want to stay in the house. Rockstar Realestate has found colleagues to help us out if there is a problem with the house.

·         Our trip was featured on page 2 the June 27th edition of the CFB Trenton Contact

·         We had some luck talking to real estate agents today about renting our home.

As a child I often heard count your blessings, which is the same concept. It is very true that when you look at what is going right- it far outweighs your worries. You have to dig a bit deeper to surface those items, but they are there. For me it is a good lesson because I tend to be pretty laid back about most things so when I get stressed it comes as a surprise. Keeping a balanced perspective helps to calm my racing mind and be more present.

Monday 19 October 2015

You are cleared for takeoff

This past week things really started to roll.
We were able to finalize our medical documents and submitted those to Cuso. In less than a day we had our medical clearance to travel.
Within a day Gisa, our travel coordinator, arranged for flights for the whole family. I was very grateful that she was able to get us an overnight flight so that the boys could be at school for an orientation on the Monday. Hopefully all they need to do is remember their teachers name and where the bathroom is, because after an overnight flight that stops at 5:30 in the morning in Trinidad and Tobago, only to leave at 6:10 for Grenada, they will be exhausted!
When I got the email about the flights I felt excited and then I immediately felt dismayed. I hadn’t planned anything for the last day I was in Canada with my mom. It turns out she will be at her favourite folk festival  (Shelter Valley) with friends, which created even more consternation. Now how do we have a family get-together before we go? We haven’t figured it out yet but it is important because I know she will want to hug and kiss the boys goodbye and it will be emotional for everyone. Creating the appropriate space and setting time for that transition will make the trip easier. If we feel like we missed her we will have started off on the wrong foot.
We also need to arrange for a big party for the boys and their friends before we go and we are rapidly running out of time. Yesterday I was teaching a course about change and reminded my class that celebrating the ending of something is just as important as celebrating the starting of something. So we will ensure that we celebrate the end of the Canadian summer with our friends and family as we enter into a new beginning in Grenada.

Saturday 17 October 2015

Me and Change

For the last two weeks I have facilitated courses that have dealt with personal change. Below is a great image of a personal power grid. What I realized while we were discussing this concept was that I was spending a lot of my time preparing for our trip in the ceaseless striving quadrant but trying to tell myself I was in the Mastery quadrant.
There are a few good examples of this. When you are single and you volunteer internationally, usually you can pack up an apartment put your personal possessions in storage and then you are off. For us we have a mortgage, property taxes, home insurance, car insurance, life insurance on all the family and RESPs for the kids; none of which stop just because we aren’t in Canada. So renting the house and at least trying to cover off the mortgage and taxes was important. I have a spreadsheet that shows the deficit we will run in Grenada and it was a manageable figure to repay when we came back. However the past two months have dragged on with no one wanting to rent a furnished house for 10 months. I was now facing a new reality that we would be responsible for all the costs and there would be no rent. After facilitating the course Exploring the Leader in You I realized I was trying to control what other people would do or value and it was causing me stress and anxiety. I went home Thursday night and put a zero in the column for rent and watched the numbers readjust.
You might think I will have felt sick or disheartened about what I saw. In fact the opposite was true, I felt light and free from worry. This was the worst case a scenario and it was OK, it wasn’t what I would prefer but it wasn’t a deal breaker either.  Thursday night I felt more relaxed and calm than I had felt in a while. Saturday morning I got a phone call from a woman wanting to rent the house. She came Sunday and said she would take it for a bit less than what was ideal, but a whole lot more than zero. That night we got another call about the house, Monday we got another one! It was as though letting go of trying to control the outcome allowed for people to want the property.
Yesterday I delivered You and Change and realized that while I have let our Canada housing situation go I am still trying to control the outcome of our housing situation in Grenada. It is hard to find the balance between the boys education, not having to drive too far (on the “wrong” side of the road along steep roads that see a wrong turn ending in the ocean) and Brent having something to do to fill his days. There will be no perfect solution. It is going to be a compromise and ultimately it will not be me who decides. Yet I keep trying to! So this week I have to work on letting that go too, and trusting that while it may not be perfect it will work.

Thursday 15 October 2015

The good; the bad; and the cranky

The Good- This Monday our go-to-guy in Grenada, Samuel, found us our new abode. With three weeks until we leave this is very welcome news! Getting a three bedroom apartment was more than what we had hoped for. Each boy will have his own room which may be helpful when tempers flare, or people need a break from one another.

The bad- Shopping for shoes that will work for the boys at their new school in Grenada proved grueling. Saturday we dropped off our friend Jay at the GO in Oshawa at 11:00 and thought we would be at my sister's by 2:00 p.m. At 5:00 p.m. we finally arrived, all of us incredibly tired from driving to at least eight shoe stores.

The cranky- Right now that seems to be everyone. Whether it is frustration at wasting a gorgeous day shopping, having to hand wash dishes, or pack & stay tidy at the same time, everyone seems a wee bit off these days.



Wednesday 14 October 2015

I've been stolen!


On Monday my mother-in-law came down to spend some time with us before we leave. Who could have guessed that the envelope she brought with her would turn my week upside down!

She had received mail for me at her home, this was odd because I have not lived in Carleton Place since I was 18 years old. When I opened it, it was from a company called Wonga.com. The letter stated that I owed them  $651.85. I figured it was a scam to get naïve people to call and then get sucked into giving out personal information. I was ticked so I tore it up and threw it in the recycling.

Luckily Brent wasn't so ticked off and looked the company up. Sure enough Wonga is a real "payday" loans type organization, but with far less controls. I begrudgingly pulled the torn up strips out of the recycling and told Brent I would deal with it Tuesday morning.

My plan was to get them to tell me what they had on "me" and give them nothing. In fact I didn't call the number on the letter in case it was fake and instead called the number on the website. My "I got this" attitude quickly changed when I realized they had my Social Insurance Number and date of birth. It only took a few seconds from my mood to go from confident to panicked.

With less than three weeks before we left, trying to figure out who had stolen my identity and what to do about it seemed like a huge headache threatening to be a migraine. I had to notify my bank, the credit bureau, the police, Fraudbusters, and Service Canada.

Based on the information Equifax and TransUnion had the person had not yet tried to get credit cards or other loans. We had discovered it within 1 month (by the way the $51.85 was the interest on the $600 loan the thief had taken out over the course of one month!!!) and if Linda had not brought that letter down I could have left the country and someone else could have gone on for months ruining my credit.

Am I confident that the matter is solved? Not really. I am now counting on credit bureaus and credit card companies to stop the thief. I actually have the most confidence in Wonga as they are the ones out of pocket. I hate relying on others to keep identity safe, but yet again I must let this go. I can't control anything from Grenada. That isn't to say I won't be checking up on this every month, but my focus has to be on NEWLO and PAM and how I can help them.



Tuesday 13 October 2015

Last Suppers

This time next week we will be leaving my sister's house in Oshawa and heading for the airport to catch our overnight flight to St. George, Grenada. We know there will be lots of changes and a big (and positive change) will be our diet. So to get our "fill" of our regular fare everyone, including Ama, gets their favourite supper. This got me thinking about how our favourite meals related to our personalities.

Owen's dinner was tonight. He requested a "full" roast beef dinner. It included mashed potatoes, gravy, broccoli with cheese sauce and peas. Owen is often precise about what he wants and how he likes things. Having said that, like his meal he is not extravagant, plain will do.

Aiden will have his meal in exactly a  week because he loves Chinese food. He had wanted Chinese buffet but his aunt Ceilidh and Uncle Ken are going to get take-out so we can enjoy their home and pool just a little bit longer! Aiden likes variety in life and in food. He has many friends who are all quite different but all great kids. He loves spicy noodles and like the dish he can be a little punchy but always flexible. We're happy that Aiden has begun to be more vocal about how he feels as when he was younger he was the peacekeeper at all costs.

I am having curry chicken. This is my favourite dish. When I was little I called it green chicken and loved it when my mom made it for us! It is both old and new at the same time, I am always playing with the curry to find the perfect balance of sweet and spicy. So hopefully I am like this dish in that I am kind but behind that sweetness is a bite. My "older" (by 7 minutes) sister always says you don't want to tangle with the baby sister! I also just love enjoying the spice of life. I hope too that I am always evolving trying to be an even better me.  One of my favourite quotes is  “You are perfect just as you are, and you could use a little improvement.” —Shunryu Suzuki

Ama is having BBQ salmon. Like salmon she is bright and vibrant.  I find salmon to have a very subtle taste and in a similar fashion she is very humble and unassuming. Like salmon she doesn't overpower is mellow and warm.

Brent is having steak and baked. Brent is a guy's guy. If we count eggs as meat, Brent has meat at every meal and if we let him it would probably stop there! Brent is not a fussy eater nor is he a fussy person. He is content with whatever version of meat is on the table or whatever we have on our agenda (like moving to Grenada).

I am looking forward to our last suppers- enjoying everyone's favourites, enjoying the last week in our home.

Sunday 11 October 2015

My current obsession with weight

I have never been obsessed with weight but today I am! We get to bring 8 suitcases that can weigh 50 pounds each. We have packed and repacked our luggage at least five times trying to redistribute the weight properly. Every time a suitcase gets put on the bathroom scale I hold my breath hoping I got it right!

I am slightly terrified that we will get to the airport and I will have got one of them wrong. The good news is if I did it is not the end of the world, we'll just pay the fee, but I am really hoping I got it right. Brent is usually the one who is great with special reasoning, but this task has less to do with that than simple trial and error. Now packing the van.... that is Brent's job!


Owen helping with loading up- still one suitcase and all carry-on to go!

Saturday 10 October 2015

Leaving on a jet plane


The last two days did not seem like enough time to get everything we needed to get done, completed. We were running around cleaning and packing. I think by the time we left at noon on Sunday we had made 3 extra trips to my mom’s to leave things with her and one to the dump! Finally we just had to say good enough and hope that Steve and Mary Lou could find everything they needed.

We arrived at my sister’s around 1:00 p.m. and had an awesome lunch. Then the boys hit the pool! It was a welcome break from packing and frayed tempers… pure fun and enjoyment. At four we all began watching the Labour Day classic between the Riders and the Blue Bombers.  Ceilidh’s dinner plans were spoiled by her Chinese food restaurant going out of business- but a new one was found and dinner arrived at half time! With a Saskatchewan win, the day was perfect.

The airport took all our bags which were (when combined) the perfect weight. It made me appreciate my good friend Nelly who was responsible for balancing aircraft loads for the CF. An important and skillful job! Even Brent’s kiteboarding equipment went through with minimal discussion.

Clearing security was less simple. It turns out that because we were bringing over $10,000 into the country we needed to declare that before we went through security. Brent was turned back and the boys and I went through and waited until 9:30.My pipe dream of getting the boys to rest was quickly set aside as the plane was boarding at 10:45 p.m. The time passed quickly and in no time we were boarded on a Caribbean Airlines flight.

Caribbean Airlines takes midnight snack seriously. Just after take-off, they started serving a hot chicken sandwich, drinks, plantain chips and a cookie! The serving/cleaning up lasted until 1:00 a.m., amazingly both boys slept through the lights being on and all the commotion. However by 3:30 Aiden was up and wanting to chat.   We watched tiny islands go by and by 4:00 Owen was up too.


Friday 9 October 2015

Leaving on a prop plane


When we arrived in Trinidad and Tobago at 4:50 a.m. we had to switch planes. To do this we had to go down to where customs is and check in with a young lady, who then takes you to a secure elevator and sends you back up to where you came in! While this seems crazy, before we departed from Pearson we encountered a family who had gotten lost trying to get to their connecting flight in the massive terminal. Their plane had left without them and the airport staff were trying to figure out what to do.

If you ever find yourself in the Trinidad airport with a connecting flight, stop and have your coffee at the shops before you go through security. There is no food or coffee (OK there is coffee from a vending machine which I can’t imagine is tasty). We bought the boys some juice and waited for the connecting flight. To help bide the time, there was another family waiting with adorable little Spanish speaking girls singing a game that was a cross between the hokey pokey and a statue game, when the song stopped you couldn’t move. I think we all could have watched them paly all day.

Our flight was called just after a 737 pulled into our gate and for a brief moment I was excited that it wouldn’t be on a prop plane. The moment passed when we walked down to our plane… a teeny tiny little island hopper that you board from the runway and not a terminal ramp. I felt like somewhere Tattoo was saying “the plane boss, the plane”. Both boys loved this plane, because you don’t go as high and you see a lot more. Sadly a lot of what we saw was pollution- oil slicks and plastics.

On the approach to Grenada, if you are sitting on the left side of the plane, the runway just magically appears about 10 meters before touchdown and it creates the illusion that you are actually crashing into the ocean! Owen was remarkably calm about this turn of events. Perhaps because Brent and Aiden could see the island. Right next to the airport is the new Sandals resort, offering personal butlers and five star vacations.

At the airport we went through the international line, and with only a few passengers it probably didn’t matter. We spent a lot of time with their border police as it is certainly unusual for someone to stay so long and with children. We will need to go back and extend our visas in November but other than that we were clear.

With the time spent getting in, we were the last people to the baggage carousel, so it was pretty easy to find our bags… until the power went out, in the whole airport. Then it became really hard to find your bags, or your kids, or your toes! Luckily it only lasted a few minutes and we went out to find Samuel’s smiling face waiting for us.

Sam has amazing packing skills and managed all but two bags into his car, but Brent’s kiteboarding equipment proved too much and we needed a taxi. We made it to the house with me only mildly concerned about dying when it appeared a car was driving straight at us, it was of course in the proper lane and me just thinking we too should be on that side of the road.

At the house we changed clothes and headed off to open a bank account. This took until about 10:00 a.m. at which time we had “brunch”. Aiden had noodles and the rest of us had roti. Then we got cards for our cell phones which consisted of me holding Sam’s smoothy outside with the boys while he helped Brent, then me going in with I.D. and then Sam needing to go back in. It was like musical chairs.

Next was to Beacon, the boys’ school. The staff were nice but they didn’t have pants for either boy and no tie for Aiden. The secretary tried to explain where to go but she did not seem to get that we had only landed 5 hours earlier. Thankfully Aiden’s French teacher fully grasped the situation and went down to give Sam detailed instructions.




Wednesday 7 October 2015

The hunt for school pants


We had dearly hoped to be done our first day after visiting Beacon. The boys were exhausted and thirsty and because you can’t carry liquids on the plane, we had no water with us. Instead we were back down into St George to a store that sold school uniforms. Thankfully we had Samuel or we would never have found the place. The tie and shirts were easy. Pants however were not. Both boys just didn’t seem to fit the pants which were very long but too tight at the waist. Now we were stuck, no pants for school was not going to work at all. Samuel knew another place we could try. Just as we were about to leave there was a torrential rain.

In St George there are deep gutters, nothing like in Canada where water can flow. The streets in Grenada are incredibly steep and you combine heavy rain with a very strong force of gravity and these gutters looked like miniature raging river. After being stuck inside for about ten minutes, it was either do something or stay trapped. We opted to brave the rain and hike up to the next store.

At the next store we found a helpful sales woman and chairs!! After walking and standing, chairs were extremely welcome. We also found pants that fit Owen really well and pants that ballooned in the legs for Aiden. The woman told us there was a seamstress upstairs who could do the work right away. We bought the pants and headed upstairs.

The seamstress went right to work on the pants and Brent went to find drinks for everyone. We waited for about an hour for the work to be done. This just made everyone even more tired. Samuel went off to run some errands and by 2:30 we were finished and Sam came back to get us.

Finally the boys were ready for school!

Tuesday 6 October 2015

Our first supper/ Owen's last shower


As you would expect there are some issues to adjust to in a new home. After a busy day we needed groceries. For some reason Brent decided to try the stove before he left for the grocery store which is just below us. The stove was leaking gas. Not good. Our landlord Mr Redhead lives in a home on the same property so we called him. Soon there were all kinds of neighbours in the house trying to fix the stove. Happily someone knew what to do and it got fixed. However it had taken a very long time and we had no food. Taking pity on Brent, Mr. Redhead drove Brent down to the store, ran some errands and then came back for Brent to drive him up the hill. The hill would be as steep as Proctor Park’s toboggan hill or a black run on a ski hill.

Meantime Owen had been told to wash his feet in the shower. We heard the water go on and then a scream and a wail. A giant cockroach like bug at least an inch and a half had crawled out of the drain. Owen declared he was NEVER going in the shower again, and the bathroom itself was questionable. Brent was able to kill the bug pretty quickly but Owen was not at all amused.

In my mind Brent took forever at the grocery store. I was expecting big things when he got back. He came home with 4 apples, chicken dogs, bread, eggs, milk (that isn’t refrigerated!), some sliced ham, ketchup, relish and mustard. Not exactly local food, but food the boys would eat. So our first cooked meal in the house was hotdogs on bread! Brent apologized for his lack of skill in the grocery store, he said everything was so different he couldn’t make up his mind. Brent is usually right at home in a grocery store, so it must have indeed been a challenge.

View from our home
With day one completed we discovered that the restaurant/ propane tank dealer across the street turns into a bar at night! The bar then competes with a gentleman who plays his own preferred music. To say it was loud would be an understatement. However I checked on both boys and they were sound asleep.

Sunday 4 October 2015

First Day/Orientation


Deciding what time to get up was both easy and hard. Easy for me because the roosters were rousing everyone before 6:00 a.m. and looking at the view of the harbour out my window inspires you to get up and get going. To me this seemed like a good time to go out and do yoga on the deck facing the harbour. It was nice to be in the fresh air and get a good stretch to start the day. I do need to remember however to put on bug spray before venturing out as my legs are apparently tasty!

We woke the boys and they had a breakfast of peanut butter and bread (there is no toaster) and Owen opted for half an apple. Then it was off to the dreaded shower. It is a suicide shower, as they are commonly known. An electrical element heats the water in the shower head. You touch the shower head when it is on and there is a good chance it will be your last shower. Brent was brave and went first and said it wasn’t too bad. He was right the water was warm enough for me to wash my hair and not shiver. Aiden went next and Owen went because he was ordered to. However after about 10 seconds he realized it was quite pleasant and happily washed his hair without protest.

Getting new clothes on, belts and ties and school shoes took way longer than we anticipated. But the result was worth it, they looked great. Owen has two shirts, one yellow and one blue. Aiden will always wear white. We headed out for the school almost 20 minutes early, not really knowing how far the school was by foot. Turns out it is four (harrowing) minutes. The roads in Grenada are narrow, very, very narrow. Add to that having to remind yourself which side of the road traffic is coming from, deep gutters and steep drop offs, it is like walking through a very narrow obstacle course! Aiden needs reminding to be no more than inches from the side of the road, as he tends to move towards the center the farther he walks. Owen seems to realize the risk and doesn’t need to be reminded to stay at the edge of the road.

On the way to school, a rooster walked across our path and we decided it was good luck. Once we were at the school the boys were supposed to go up to the assembly hall, however Owen had different ideas. Aiden went up the way he was supposed to go, Owen decided that couldn’t be right and he stayed put in the main yard. We explained to him that he either needed to follow Aiden or ask someone for help. After floundering for a few minutes he found a student to ask and proceeded to head away. Mission accomplished.

At 11:00, Brent and I attended an orientation with NEWLO, PAM, Silvan McIntrye (an esteemed police officer) and Mr. Peter’s (?) a local poet and playwright. It was nice to hear what everyone had to say and while there were no new revelations it was nice to meet Sister Margret and Ms. Lawrence.

We just squeaked back to the school for 2:00 p.m. when we thought they were done, Brent stayed to walk them home and Samuel and I proceeded to the house to do some paperwork. We were also able to get cell phones set up. Ironically I think most people on the island have fancier phones than I do. Since I almost never used my cell in Canada, it is taking getting used to having a phone turned on in case someone calls. Brent is having the same problem he had in Canada, pocket dialing people! Good to know some things don’t change.    





Thursday 1 October 2015

Grand Anse


There was just no way to make it to the beach the first day we were in Grenada. Apart from being tired, there was no time. So Tuesday we had to go to the beach. We walked down our hill and caught a bus within about 10 seconds. The buses are a little crazy, fast, and stop randomly. The young man next to me helped pick a stop and we got off right at the beach for $10 ECD or about $4 Canadian. We walked the beach for a while and then jumped in. It was so refreshing. The kids had a great time watching the little fishes that swam around their feet and Brent and I enjoyed the way your body feels when it is in buoyant water!

The trouble with a bus is you need to be dressed appropriately. So I had to wear capris and then my board shorts underneath. Getting dressed was a challenge and I ended up with sand all through my capris and feeling like I was wearing sandpaper. The boys (big and small) simply wore a swim suit and aqua shirt. Seeing as we still had no “real” groceries I had been told there was a restaurant on the beach called Umbrellas. We walked there and decided a good meal was probably worth it.


Aiden’s new self-proclaimed motto is “try everything in front of you”. So he had the “Catch of the day sandwich”, Mahi-Mahi and he said it was the best thing he had ever tasted. Owen went for chicken nuggets and I had a salad. Brent had a burger. All in, it was well worth the price.

I had researched and had seen on our way in that we should be near the Spiceland mall which has an IGA. It was much larger than the Food Fair Grocery store Brent had gone to. I went in and got dish soap and some cheese, a novelty item here and is somewhat pricey.

Tuesday 21 July 2015

The importance of community

The Grenadian National Anthem "Hail Grenada" is a beautiful anthem, however when I first heard it I was a bit confused by this line "...As one people, one family...". That is until I lived there.

In Grenada it is like you are part of one big family. With a population of 110,000 it isn't hard to be able to make connections quickly.


A view of Belmont from Fort George (Port Louis foreground)
The longer I stayed the more I valued the sense of community that Grenadians shared. The area where we lived, Belmont, had been know in the past for some undesirable behaviours and criminal elements. So when we would tell people we lived in Belmont eyebrows would get raised. However we would quickly defend our community and point out that it had changed.

Not only did we embrace our community but our community embraced us. We knew almost everyone's names on our street and they knew ours. "Morning, morning" was called out across the street and down the hill. Coming back to Canada that sense of community is an element I miss from my childhood and from living in Grenada.

I grew up in a town in rural Ontario of 6,000 and it felt like I knew everyone and everyone knew me. I knew whose corn field I was playing hide and seek in; I knew all the store owners and all the members of our church. We were all connected one way or another.

While I doubt that many Grenadians knew me, a few hundred definitely did. I would get stopped on the street and hugged by girls from PAM, yelled at from a passing car by someone from NEWLO, meet my friends shopping at the grocery store or get a wave from a fellow hasher as they cycled by. Everywhere I went I felt connected to people. I never felt far from someone I knew and was always excited when I bumped into someone in downtown St. George's or rural St. Andrew's. Even the street vendors eventually came to recognize our family as a part of the community and stopped inviting us to shop at their store but would instead offer a word of greeting. It felt like being back in my childhood. It felt safe.

Me with the NEWLO school family

But now that I am back in the land of two vehicle households, properties separated by fences, and workplaces with very clear lines of communication, I notice how all these boxes we put ourselves in are breaking down our communities. And it feels dysfunctional.

A few years ago I tried to establish a learning community of practice, and I am big enough to admit it failed miserably. I tried to sell it all kinds of different ways and as a Learning Advisor I found myself so frustrated that people didn't want to learn. But now I am wondering if it wasn't that people didn't want to learn but rather that the notion of building a community- relying on others, trusting them with your successes and failures, and the work that goes into creating and maintaining a sense of community that was the problem.

I have lived in Brighton a town of about 10,000 people for nine years now and, a part from the people on my crescent, have made very few connections and yet in Grenada I made them in less than 10 months. So what is the difference?

I am not sure yet, but I am thinking about. And in the meantime I am going to try again to create a learning community of practice because learning is best when it is shared. People are also at their best when they are connected. I have no doubt it is going to be just as hard as the last time, but this time  I am different. I recognize what a community is and what it isn't; it is not a networking tool, a platform or a resume booster; it is an feeling created through connection.

And I want to build my community where I live as well as where I work. I am hoping the hashes we are organizing will be a place where everyone can get together each week and take in the beauty of our country and connect with each other.

I will always feel apart of the Grenadian community, because I love the country and the people- and I have a sneaky suspicion we will always be tied to each other. Grenadians are great at letting go of small inconsequential things, but I don't think they easily let go of their "family".

It won't be easy but I am hoping that I will be able to take what is so special about Grenada and translate it into action.

Friday 17 July 2015

A welcome voice

When I came back to work two weeks ago my colleague, and partner in crime, of nine years was off - which was disappointing as I was excited to talk to her. But luckily I had so many other great women around me (Erin, Brigitte, & Amy) that the week flew by.

However on Monday I came into the office and I couldn't wait to hear from Joyce. So much so that I phoned her office and listened to her voicemail just to hear her voice! I called back later and got her in person and I was flooded with this overwhelming happiness, like connecting with a long lost loved one. One of the many things I learned in Grenada was how important our female friends are.

Before I left Grenada I consciously decided not to pursue any promotions at work.  As much as I love the thinking and planning that goes into being a manager or a team leader, it meant I always kept my colleagues at a bit of a distance. In my mind you need to do this when you could be (or are) the supervisor, be friendly but not friends.

Now without that baggage impeding the relationship, upon hearing Joyce's voice I could finally just be me; just be so grateful to have her back,  and just love her dearly without holding back. It was probably the happiest I have felt at work in a long, long time.

In Grenada I have so many amazing female friends and I know it is because we approached each other as equals, as partners (and sometimes editor) that I could just be me. And in return I always got to see the real them too. I also think it is why we became such fast friends is they could feel my honesty. When you are holding back parts of yourself people sense it and they too hold back. Although in Grenada people don't hold back too much!! We could learn a thing or two from them.

Most importantly my friends in Grenada have taught me a lot about letting go and giving yourself permission to be you. I hope I can honor all the women in my life (Grenadian, Canadian & American) by being a better person, a better friend and a better leader. 

Monday 13 July 2015

When it rains in your home

Last Tuesday morning everyone was still sick so I opted to quietly leave for work. I was searching for my purse (story of my life) when I heard a drip, drip, drip. I thought weird and then looked around. I had somehow managed to miss the giant puddle in the front hall. Then I looked up and there was a bubble the size of a balloon on the ceiling.

Well that was a deal breaker, Brent needed to be woken, sniffly or not. Somehow everyone woke up and wanted to see. I believe the boys were the only ones who thought it was "cool", we thought "costly" and since the money is still in cyberspace it was an unwelcome surprise.

We have a contractor we have used since he graduated college about six years ago. He advised to pull down the ceiling to try to isolate where the problem is. These are the photos I got at work.

Wait are those feet up behind Aiden?

Yup that's Owen

Yikes
In a good news/ bad news story... It has not leaked since, which is good because in theory there isn't something to fix. Owen thinks it may be because he is having trouble adjusting to showers with curtains and since he is having about 3 baths and a couple of showers every day (we're hoping the novelty wears off soon) this may actually be the cause. But it is what it is, he has learned his lesson. The bad news is since we can't find what went wrong it may also mean we still have a problem. However in more good news, now that the ceiling is opened we can finally put a light in our hallway so in the winter I can actually see where my boots are! 

We are almost a week out and no more leaks. Today an electrician  installed the wiring for a light, hooray. Now we just have to wait one more week before we close up the ceiling and put in a light. Hopefully the money comes in from RBTT so we can pay our trades people!

Friday 10 July 2015

Lost in (Cyber) Space

When we were selling our little CRV we discovered how difficult it could be to move money across international borders. For the car, our buyer was American and he had wanted to send a bank draft to us. It was easy on his end, but on the Grenadian end it would not clear our bank for six weeks! We would have been home by then. Thank goodness for Mrs. Douglas, whose husband works for the Republic Bank, she told me to try a wire transfer. That worked really well and we had our money within days.

When deciding how to get our money from the sale of the vehicle back to Canada there were numerous reasons we thought it unwise to get bank drafts or cash and try and bring the money through Trinidad or Canada customs.

While Grenada is not a "hot spot" for drug trafficking the region is and $9,000 would raise eyebrows. So we opted to close our account and wire the money back to Canada. We did this the Friday before we left and it was supposed to be in our account on Monday.

The trouble started because our "home" account is still in Carleton Place, but the bank we do business with is in Brighton where we live. Unfortunately the transit numbers are very similar. Brighton is 182 and Carleton Place is something like 812... you see where this is going. So the money was supposed to go to 812 account 123456 instead it went to 182 account 123456. Which, if that account actually existed in Brighton, would have been fine- Brighton would have removed it from the wrong account and put it into the right account. The problem? The account doesn't exist in Brighton and the money was "deposited" into the non-existent account- ergo it has vanished.

So Royal Bank Canada confirmed they did have it (past tense), Brighton can confirm they don't and Carleton Place doesn't even know there is a problem.

Next problem, in order to fix the error RBC somehow found the money and returned it to our closed account in Grenada. So the question becomes how do you take money out of an account that doesn't exist and put money into another account that doesn't exist? Hmmmm.

RBC Brighton is being awesome after having to deal with a call-centre who wanted us to call Grenada and sort it out... only we don't have an account with the Royal Bank Trinidad & Tobago anymore so not sure what that call would have been like.

The latest news is first thing Monday morning Brent and the RBC manager are calling Grenada and trying to sort it out! The good news is everyone agrees we have the money and it should be deposited into our account, just making that happen has been way more difficult than we ever expected.

Wednesday 8 July 2015

What a week

By about 11:00 p.m. everyone in our house was tucked into warm beds, Brent and I had thrown on a down duvet and the kids were under coverlets. Everyone was happy to tuck in. Just as we were going to sleep two cats started fighting. Brent laughed out loud and said "You go for it cats- you've got nothing on Grenadian dogs!" and with that we fell fast asleep.

At 5:00 a.m. I woke up with a burning sore throat. I figured it must be the dryness of the plane and house so got up to get a glass of water. However the water only exacerbated the pain, and I crawled back into bed praying for a miracle, I couldn't be sick just 8 hours into being home. However by 5:30 it was obvious I was not feeling well and I was not going to get back to sleep. I got up knowing all my friends in Grenada would also be up and getting ready for their day; so while my house slept I started to unpack our bags.

Aiden was up by 6:30 and I put coffee on for Brent while sipping my first cup of tea from a tea pot in ten months. My sister and mom (with assistance from my mother-in-law) had stocked our fridge with strawberries, cherries, blueberries, mushrooms, sausages, cream and many other yummy foods. I cooked up some breakfast sausages and Aiden scarfed them down while getting dressed so he could run over to Ama's. Owen didn't even bother to eat he just threw on clothes and chased Aiden out the door.

By 9:00 a.m. my mom, sister and brother-in-law (Ken) had come over, but I was feeling progressively worse. My mom had bought me flannel pyjamas with feet and a hood as a joke, but by 9:30 I was snuggled into it. In Grenada I would have been able to grate some ginger and turmeric and make a soothing tea but here I had no turmeric and only powdered ginger- it just isn't the same!

Ken and Brent got our van running and the pool cover off. The pool was (and sadly still is) a very unpleasant colour of green. With those tasks done, Ceilidh and Ken headed away and I headed back to bed.

After being so excited to be home for Canada Day I spent most of it in bed.

That doesn't mean a lot didn't happen. Mckayla and Mackenzie brought over jam and fresh rhubarb from their mom and dad. Max sent an urgent note via Facebook for Aiden to come over and play and Ceilidh dropped Aiden off at the Tobey household on her way out of town. Owen went looking all over town for his friends, brothers Braden and Carter. Aiden ran into his friend Yana and neighbours came out and over to welcome us back. I had my bedroom window open and got to hear all the well wishes and it made me feel as warm in my heart as the duvet was keeping my feet.

I had really hoped the cold would just be a 24 hour thing, but as the days progressed it became clear
that being up a few hours and then going back to bed was what was needed. Anyone who knows me knows I love being busy, so I think this was natures way of slowing me down. I would however like Mother Nature to know I got the point but I need to get better because napping at work is not an option!

Slowly everyone in the house (and my sister and mom) have come down with cold like symptoms. No doubt our family has little immunity to colds viruses that are here in Ontario. Happily kids don't let sniffles stop them and they have been biking and hiking around the neighbourhood.

I had to start work on Monday and even though I was feeling miserable the warm welcome I got from Brigitte, Amy, Arlene and Erin, as well as countless emails wishing me well helped me get through the day. However when I got home I went straight to bed.

So with one  week under our belt in Canada we are slowly getting back to normal. Well except for the missing $9,000 and tearing the ceiling out of our foyer... more on that in a later post!